How can we get a hold of frightening visual and somatosensory information disabling our daily lives?

Psychic Medium Maria Luz O'Rourke shares her experience discerning types of information filtered through the mind.

This week I ask Maria all about her interior life to get insight into how to get a better handle on mine, and she has been generous enough with her time to do that at length. I hope you get something helpful from her answers. I know that I have.

SH: Do you have any sense, looking back, that your imagination was different to that of your peers, that you felt apart from them in any way, or did you feel the same as your peers at the time? You talked about your skin tone being a factor, it may be hard or impossible to separate that otherness from any other kind. (People who develop mental illness often report feeling apart, as though they are looking on, but I suspect that people like yourself fall in between). But I’m asking the question because I don’t really know how much time you had for daydreaming, invisible friends, that kind of thing, because you had siblings and the opportunity to develop visualisations may have come later.

MLO: It is a bit hard to tease out feeling different because I was the only biracial kid in my class vs. an innate feeling that I was somehow different. My best estimate is that my sense of being different was largely externally driven because of people’s reactions to me, what I saw around me and in popular culture back in the 70s and 80s.

I did have a great imagination, but used it mostly with the assistance of books. I was an avid reader; I especially enjoyed fantasy, period, and serial stories because they offered a world to escape the confusion and unreliability of my home life.

I didn’t have imaginary friends, but I really connected to animals and being outdoors. I would come up with TV shows starring my dog, or pretend I was in a forest camping in my backyard, etc.

SH: Did your interior life develop as you gave it time and space or was it always there?

MLO: I think it was always there. I was always trying to make meaning of what I saw and experienced as a kid. At some point, I internalized the conditioning, and with OCD tendencies I wasn’t aware of until age 50, I spent a lot of time ruminating on my status with whatever standard I had internalized. Thus, I drifted away from meaning making to ruminating over mundane things like how I looked, calories in vs. out, school and work politics, etc.

SH: You have described guided visualisations. Do you ever get unbidden, unwelcome ones, and if so, how do you deal with them?

MLO: The only time was when I was in severe burnout, having panic attacks pretty regularly, and drinking heavily in 2020. What was coming unbidden was an image of a former co-worker from the late 1990s who had died by suicide. I kept seeing her dying by the means as I knew she had died. I was puzzled and thought at the time that maybe she was haunting me, although the image did not do or say anything frightening, hence the puzzled feeling.

I also had frightening hallucinations when I stopped drinking without medical supervision. It is my understanding that those withdrawal hallucinations occur pretty frequently for people who are physically dependent.

The thing about my former co-worker is interesting. A few years later, after getting sober, I was a practice client for a medium in training (at the time, I was just there to gain practice as an astrologer, but we exchanged our various modalities). She described my former co-worker very accurately as coming through for me. It turns out she had been hanging around, in the hopes that I would be able to feel her support. What started happening instead, is that my mind could only comprehend something negative (likely due to the out of control PTSD) so it was cloaking her energy in the death image. So that is what kept popping into my head as opposed to a softer image.

In neither of those situations was I ordered to do or think anything.

The visualizations I receive now have an entirely different feeling and energy. Clairvoyance is one of my primary clairs. It is employed often in mediumship, where the spirit will show me a visual like a picture or a movie, to help me provide evidence to their person that they are who I say they are.

I also receive images as metaphors in mediumship and from spirit guides, angels, nature, or directly from source. My understanding is that metaphors are a more complete means of communication, allowing for expansion of the message naturally.

SH: You have mentioned prompts or senses that you should or shouldn’t do certain things. How much do you trust these and what is your relationship to them?

MLO: My other primary clair is claircognizance, so I often simply know. If it still challenges me emotionally to accept what has come through, I will 'check in' with my higher self or father on the other side for more context. I do trust that what I pick up is in my best and highest good and therefore that of the collective. I trust that I will not be led to do something harmful to myself or others, but that doesn't mean they will all be without emotional challenges.

So far, it seems that the emotional challenges that come along with some of the knowings are ones I am meant to work through in order to live more freely as my authentic self, and with as much unconditional love as I can. Part of the emotional challenge often relates to the fact that me becoming more free may actually threaten others' (false) security in the narratives they are entrenched in. I have had to learn to detach from controlling how others perceive me, and remember that they often project their shadows onto me. That is not always easy to navigate, but I have done my best.

SH: Do they ever feel goading or entangled with a feeling of dread?

MLO: No. If anything, I go from feeling contracted to feeling more expansive, or free.

SH: Have you ever found them problematic or causing more problems than they solve?

MLO: I guess I don’t think the messages I receive are meant to really solve things. It is more like revealing something that will help me to live out my soul’s purpose, or in the case of messages or symbols to share with the collective, they are meant to provoke some soul searching leading to awakening.

SH: What kinds of emotions are connected to interior prompts or visuals (if any).

MLO: It feels like a calm lake. I must be emotionally serene for messages to come in clearly.

SH: How strong are these emotions, and what percentage of them are positive or don’t involve fear?

MLO: It is a neutral emotional space. In fact, learning that I can be the most effective as a medium or psychic when I don’t have emotional noise led me to meditation and Theravada Buddhism. I find living according to Buddhist principles is a more peaceful and ethical way for me to move through life. Importantly, this practice has helped me know my own mind better. For example, I can discern what is from my ego mind vs. higher self or from spirit.

SH: Do you get any somatic interior cues (aside from the obvious anxiety type that everyone gets) or cues from textures or scents or locations?

MLO: Okay, this is interesting. When I sense energy that is NOT from spirit, my autonomic nervous system definitely gets clues, such as dry mouth, feeling wired, skin more sensitive. This is typically when someone or something just doesn’t feel safe to me.

If it is more of earthbound (aka ghost) energy I am feeling, it doesn’t feel unsafe, but it can feel creepy, for lack of a better descriptor.

SH: Do they ever feel goading or entangled with a feeling of dread?

MLO: Never. I have a strong knowing that I ALWAYS have free will to do or think something else, or change my mind, and a strong sense that I am supported no matter what. The practical pieces seem to fall in place as long as I remain open to signs and synchronicities, and try to live my path as best I understand it.

It may be important to know that in addition to meditation, I also journal daily to remain grounded. Seeing what I experience in writing, and being able to look back at the breadcrumbs reveals a pattern toward 'goodness' and away from 'suffering' that satisfies my scientifically trained mind. I put those words in quotes because of course they can mean a lot of things, I mean them more in the Buddhist framework of sukha and dukkha.

I also think it is important to move my body to allow energy to move freely and not get congested. I practice yoga, run, walk, lift weights, stretch, etc., not because I feel I have to, but it feels good to me (I have liked to move all my life) and feels connected to my ability to be clear and calm to receive messages from the divine.

I just want to end by thanking Maria. I love the idea of my mind being a helpful friend and servant rather than a scary master, so comparing what works with what doesn’t (with or without medication) is going to make for some interesting food for thought for every subscriber I have who still struggles with these things. Maybe we can collaborate with Maria again in the future. Here are some links to the rest of her work below:

Bio:

Maria Luz O’Rourke owns marialuz.online and Modus Novus Astro-hypnosis, writes the Substack newsletter Astrology, Alchemy, & Honest Recovery, and hosts the podcast Maria Luz’s Conscious Curiosities.

She is a certified hypnotherapist by the National Guild of Hypnotists (registered in the state of Washington), and holds a B.S. in Biochemistry from the University of Washington and a M.A. in Organizational Leadership from Gonzaga University.

Maria switched gears in 2024, leaving a 29 year career in Pharmaceuticals to start a practice utilizing spiritual modalities to help people live freely as their authentic selves, in healthy connection to self, others, and the universe.

Social Media Links:

LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/marialuzorourke

Substack: https://substack.com/@marialuzorourke

Podcast website https://www.buzzsprout.com/2333366

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg49ZhFry-yZomzILqMQqVw